Advice needed:  

Here is my question:  Is there a place for the calculator in math?

Ok.  I know that when you get into the higher High School math levels, a calculator is a must, but my question goes more towards the lower Jr. High level.

Here is my dilemma...or my daughter's dilemma.  Math is her weakest subject.  She can do it, but it can often times overwhelm her and she will shut down.  Matt thinks there is nothing wrong with her using her calculator in some capacity.  I waiver on this issue.  I see the value in working out the problems.  But, the issue can often be that in some problems the act of working out problems can become so overwhelming, that she loses sight of what she needs to come up with.

Here is an example.  She needs to come up with the lcm (lowest common multiplier) of a given set of numbers.  She begins the tedious task of multiplying each number by 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 and so on until she finally reaches the number that matches.  When the starting numbers are numbers like 13 and 24 (for example), this can go on for a long time and she gets more and more frustrated.  

Yes, I know that it is good for her, technically, to work out each of these problems until she reaches a match...but I also know that math is not part of her future.  Oh, she will need math skills, but I just wonder if the lesson (getting to that lcm) gets lost in her frustration.  So often, she forgets so many of the simplest things because she immediately begins to shut down at the task ahead.  If she had the ability to use her calculator, I think she would be better focused on figuring out how to solve the problem.  

So, that's my question.  At this level, is there a place for using a calculator?  If the problems she is faced with is long division, than obviously a calculator should not be used...or should be used in limited capacity.  Should the student be considered in that decision?  I.e. a student like Daniel where math is easy for him and he finds it fun to figure out...not an option.  A student like Sierra, though, that struggles and gets easily frustrated...maybe so?  

Please leave answers in comment section for others to gain knowledge!

This morning, I was thinking about my daughter and her talent with art.  I was reflecting on how when she gets a pencil and paper in her hands, she lights up and I am amazed at what she will end up drawing.  As I cycled through the amazing things she can do, I began to think on how often she tells me she feels dumb at times.  It seems that so many other kids her age are ahead of her academically and they can sometimes make her feel dumb when she doesn't process things in the same way.

This got me to thinking of my own father.  My whole life, I heard him talk down upon himself.  He would always say how dumb he was.  He considered himself a poor reader and just generally slow.  Now, you have to understand something.  My father graduated high school with his goals already set in his mind.  He joined the Navy so that he could go to college.  As soon as he got out of the Navy, he enrolled in college and went on to get a MASTERS degree in Education.  This was a means to another end....he wanted to become a High School football coach....which he did indeed do.  He was so successful that he took his team to state twice and won both times.  He even earned the title of Coach of the Year for the state of New Mexico one year.

A dumb man he was not.  Neither is Sierra.

What got me thinking of my father while thinking of Sierra?  My dad was also an artist.  He painted the most vivid oil paintings as well as made the most beautiful jewelry.  He could see art in just about anything.  He once made me a silver and turquoise bracelet out of forks.  I still have it today and if you looked at it, you would never be able to tell!!

School did not come easy for him, nor does it for Sierra.  Is it because they lack any sort of intelligence?  No!!  It is just that their brains are not wired to see things in linear form.  This is the issue with public school.  The public school teacher lacks the time and resources to teach the individual child according to their needs.  I am not talking bad about the teacher...she/he works with what they have.  In a classroom of 20+ students, it is just not possible.  Students like Sierra and my dad end up floating along in the system, feeling swept away in a tide, feeling like the dummy without a lifejacket.  

Since homeschooling Sierra, I have been able to observe where her strengths and weaknesses are.  I have seen the damage done to her in being in public school...her self confidence is less than what it should be....her feeling as a failure.  I have been able to start taking those chains that are weighing her down off of her and make her see herself for who she is.  I can also put value where it belongs and take away the junk.  Will she ever be a scientist?  No!!  Do we put a lot of emphasis on science?  No, we don't.  

Does Art = Dumb??  Of course not.  Sierra is one of the smartest people I know.  She doesn't fit into a box....she soars in the clouds.

So, money is tight.  It's always tight and as the year closes down, the financial noose tightens and tightens.  So what better time to go out on a date than when your bank account is fighting hard to stay in the black??  Well...we did it last night and it cost us...oh.....$5.

Matt and I do not get to go out often.  Not just because of money, but because of time.  We are a very busy family with little to no time to even think about going out.  Recently, we found time to go out and spent $15...coming away with full tummies and a take home box with enough food for lunch for one of us.  We then walked around a local outdoor market area before heading home.  We were so proud of ourselves (Chuy's...local mexican restaurant....loads up their dishes with tons of food...we just share a plate, get water, and that with tip equals $15).

Last night, we beat that.  We went to Benihana's for dinner and went and saw the new James Bond movie, Skyfall, in the XD theater and it cost us $5.  That was the total spent on the date.  How you may ask?

Well...first of all, did you know you can sign up to be a part of the Benihana birthday club and get a $30 gift certificate??  Well, you can!!  Matt's birthday is in the month of November.  We simply went to Benihana, ordered the steak and shared it all.  This meal comes with soup and salad.  I do not like their salad, but love their soup.  Matt loves the salad.  He ate the salad...I ate the soup.  We ordered an extra fried rice for me and split the steak, shrimp appetizer, and veggies between us.  We ordered water.  Being his birthday, he even had ice cream delivered.  We were left with paying the tip...$5.  As we walked out of the restaurant  we both commented on how full we were.  So, off to our movie.

If you are doing your math, you will see we have already spent our total at this point.  We got to see Skyfall for free...and in XD!!  How did we manage this, you ask?  Well....Matt is a HUGE James Bond fan.  When they re-released the movies on Blu-Ray, he began buying the movies he loves the most.  A couple of them came with movie cash to see Skyfall.  A couple of them!!  That meant...$20 to go towards the movie ($10 movie money each blu-ray).  We decided to see it in XD expecting to pay a couple dollars per ticket (XD tickets are expensive).  The ticket girl gave us the tickets and did not charge us anything!!  

So, we ate great, fresh made food until we were full....watched a GREAT movie with a HUGE screen and BIG sound in plush, oversized seats.....all for $5!!  I don't mind being a cheap date!!

Some people often ask me how I get my kids to get all their school work done daily/weekly.  There is a very simple solution to that question...I give them daily schedules.  They know each day what needs to be done and it is in checklist form so they can check it off as they go along.  This works especially great because it gives them ownership over their school.  I even let them choose in what order they will do school.  I go the extra mile in making them cute with characters I think they will like.

I am attaching a file that you can look at if you would like to see what we do.  Now, this is Daniel's schedule for the next month...You will notice 2 for each day.  One of these will be for Daniel and one for me.

These tiny little blocks bring out the best and worst in so many people.  Bring up Legos with a group of moms and it is interesting the passion you will have sparked in just about every one.  It can be really mind boggling.  It shocks me just how negatively these little things are viewed by so many moms.

When I bring up Daniel's love of Legos, I am almost always told by this mom or that one how much they hate the things.  Many moms will not allow them in their homes.  I sat in silent shock as one mom told of boxing up all the Legos in her house and THROWING them away.  My heart sank as I thought of how much of a treasure that would have been for my own son.  Why the hostility towards Legos?

Ok, I have stepped on my fair share of Legos.  The pictures you see of the pain levels of stepping on Legos is not exaggerated in the least.  It hurts. And yes, we seem to find Legos in every nook and cranny of our home.  Not cool.  Legos do have their annoyances.  BUT....

They are such a part of imaginative play.  Daniel spends so much of his day creating and recreating things.  He makes space ships, restaurants, schools, playgrounds, cars, trucks, etc.  He learns how to properly balance Legos so they do not fall apart...the weight on one end can't be more than the weight on another end.  He puts all his Lego figures in the most complex of situations from hanging by a homemade grappling hook from the top of the refrigerator or engaging in a zombie war.  The possibilities are endless.

And then there are the models he buys to put together.  There is nothing he loves more than sitting at the table with the Lego packages open before him and his instruction manual.  He does it all by himself and, with pride, shows everyone his completed project.  He loves to go to the store and look at all the boxes and dream about what he wants to build next.  All his money goes towards Legos.

So, what about the mess of Legos?  What about the little pieces scattered all over the floor?  I have heard a couple different solutions.

I was complaining once about the Legos being everywhere and a Lego enthusiast (one who is not anti-Legos) told me that it is important to the kid who loves Legos so much to have their own area.  She arranged her couches to where her son's Legos were behind her couch, out of sight of anyone who might pop in, but with plenty of room for him to build. She said they were rather scattered behind there, but it was her son's place to build.  I suppose when Legos escaped from their designated spot, that she would just toss them back over.

Someone else said they did something similar, but it was a corner of her gameroom.  

The key for us is Daniel has his organized by color in plastic shoe boxes.  Any models he has put together are on a book shelf or a card table or a table in his room (he has that many models).  When he plays with them during the day, he has them scattered on the floor.  We know it is a mine field and do our best to avoid the painful step that is stepping on a Lego.  At days end, it is his responsibility to put them back in their boxes.  Does he complain?  Of course he does.  Who is the parent?  We are.  Every morning, our floor is a Lego free zone.  

Now this works really well for a couple different reasons.  First of all, because he has the responsibility of taking care of the Legos each night, he is far less likely to make as big of a mess.  It's true.  He HATES to clean up Lego messes.  So, we tell him....don't make such a big mess and you won't have as much to clean up.  Also, having the colors organized allows him to really build what he has in his mind without being frustrated sorting through colors.  

So...we love Legos here.  We "oooo" and "aaaaa" at all of his creations.  We see the value in his being able to put together so many things.  He often gets frustrated when something doesn't quite work out, but then he gets to really use problem solving skills.  Also, he gets an allowance and is learning the value of a dollar.  He plans out what he wants to buy and how long it will take him to save up to get it.

Give Legos a chance.  They are expensive...it's true.  BUT, wow.....my son, at least, comes alive when he has Legos in his hands.

Halloween is a holiday that often splits Christians down the middle.  Many believe it is a fun holiday where kids can have fun dressing up and getting candy while others look at their pagan beginnings and decide to shun the holiday and close their blinds and turn off their lights.

I hang my head in shame now as I admit to being the hider for so many years.  I would hold my head high....nose stuck high in the air...declaring that we would not be participating in such holidays.  We would not be party to the deprivation of society nor encourage others to do so.  Oh no.  Not us.  We would make ourselves feel better by taking our daughter to Fall Festivals.  We would even let her dress up in something fun and pretty...only positive characters, please.  I just could not let my daughter behave in such depravity.

About 4 years ago, I came to realize a couple things.  First and foremost, Halloween deprave?  Hmmm....  Like anything, it can be.  If you avoid things that have evil roots, or pagan roots, than you may want to find that cave in the hills and begin growing your own food.  It is unavoidable.  Christmas and Easter, largely celebrated as Christian holidays, are pagan at their roots.  Hmmmm....

Also, as I would go around and see all the kids running around with great joy on their faces as they showed off their costumes, accessories, makeup, etc....I found myself searching for the evil lurking in their shadows and finding none.  I saw joy and fun and I saw a longing in the eyes of my daughter as she watched the fun taking place around her.

Now, there are things about Halloween that do give me pause.  I do not care for all the evil type characters that are portrayed (yes, my daughter was a zombie this year...).  For a long time, I was concerned about the witches you see portrayed.  Here's the thing:  their cartoon like, glorified versions of witches.  When was the last time you saw a witch flying around on a broomstick??

I think too many of us take these things far too serious.  It is imaginative play.  It is a time for neighbors to step outside and laugh and coo over these children who are having so much fun.  The first time I took the kids trick or treating...Daniel was 3 (almost 4) and Sierra was 9.  It was under the worst of circumstances.  My dad had died just days before and we had to go to his town for his funeral.  My kids (Sierra most especially) had been looking forward to trick or treating and I knew we needed to make it happen.  So, we went to a nearby neighborhood in my dad's town and went trick or treating.

Through the pain of my father's death, I found myself laughing as my little guy who was spiderman (I think) and my girl who was a blue haired pop star went home to home trick or treating.  Adults would just coo at them and they had the best time loading their buckets with candy.  I vowed, right then and there, not to take life so darn seriously anymore...and to continue trick or treating as long as my kids want to.

It's so fun.  Sierra has outgrown trick or treating, but she LOVES to hand out the candy and see the kids.  She sits outside the garage and just coos at every little one who pops by.  Daniel is passionate about trick or treating and I just love to see his excitement and to hear what people have to say about his costume.

I have yet to see the evil associated with it, now that I have opened my eyes.  Oh, evil is there...evil is everywhere.  But evil is not found in the 3 year old bumble bee I saw yesterday...or the many Captain America's that came up with muscles bulging....Spidergirl.....Batman.....the cowboy.....or my own little hobo.  There was joy, laughter, giddiness, excitement, love....I saw parents look on in pride as their kids showed off their costumes and reminding their kids to say Thank You...which just about every kids did.

I just wish I had come to this knowledge sooner...I hate that Sierra missed out on so much!!