Well, it has been a few days since my post on whether or not to allow my son to read the Harry Potter series.  I appreciated the comments that were left there and if there was something you had wanted to share, please feel free to share now.

For years, I was against Harry Potter due to the wizardry of the books.  It was quite weird how, after all these years, that I would consider opening up my family to reading the books and watching the movies.  My conviction was strong but then, when I became a Christian, my convictions were strong in many areas that were not necessarily right.

Matt and I sparred a bit on the subject...me taking the con position and he the pro.  He would come up with a reason why HP was a good choice and I would have an argument against it.  We would often end up even because his points were very good as were mine.  One point he brought up was a point that had grieved me for a long time...HP is a book with magic, wizards and witches, but it is good versus evil.  Lord of the Rings, a book series with Christian parallels also has magic and sorcery in it and is good versus evil.  We watch the movies a few times each year...if we allow that, shouldn't we be open to HP. OR, even more to the point...if we DON'T allow HP, shouldn't we NOT allow LOTR??  It's a real head scratcher.

Sierra came into the conversation and asked this question that I thought was a very good point.  She said, shouldn't this be a case by case basis?  She went on to explain that there are kids who probably should not read the book series.  Maybe they are sensitive to certain story lines or maybe they are easily confused between fiction and reality.  These kids should likely not read these books.  However, if the kid in question can read a book and take it for what it is, a fictional story, and is not sensitive to certain story lines, than where is the harm.  Hmmmm....good point.

I soon discovered something I never knew....Sierra has always wanted to read HP.  She never said that she did due to her having respect for our rules, but she has always been curious.  Daniel, however, has no real interest in reading the books.  I started on this topic for the purpose of trying to find a book my son might really get into and want to read...and ended with my daughter getting excited at the possibility of reading the books.

My decision?  We went to the library and picked up a copy for Sierra and one for Daniel.  Sierra inhaled the first book in a matter of a couple days and is halfway through the second.  This makes me happy to see her reading so diligently.  Daniel is taking some prodding.  I am not forcing it upon him, but I am hoping to get him past the first chapter and maybe it hooking him.  Here is the really weird part....I thought it would probably be a good idea for me to read the books.  Sierra is ahead of me, but she is 13 and I trust her judgement.  For Daniel, I thought it would be a good idea for me to read them (which means putting my current series on hold).

So, let me say this before I go on.  I did not take this decision lightly.  The Christian world is split on these books...one side believing them to be evil and the other seeing them as fiction fun.  I see both sides.  I realize that the bible strictly forbids dabbling in magic.  However......

I am reading book 1, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, right now.  I am about 1/2 way done.  My impressions so far are this:

1. This books is very well written.  Rowling is a gifted writer.  She is descriptive in her writing and she does not dumb it down.  She paints a picture that I can clearly see as I am reading the book.  I can see why this appeals to kids and adults alike.  There are few children's chapter books that I can sit and read on my own.  This one is quite good and I understand that they get better unlike other book series that decline.
2. I often find myself getting caught up in the whole witches and wizards words in the book.  I see the characters getting books on famous witches to study at Hogwart's and I can feel my feathers ruffling.  But, here is the thing.  The witches and wizards described in this book hardly fit the witches found in the bible.  They are not praying to a God of the Nile like the sorcerers at the Nile nor practicing pagan rituals like other areas in the bible.  This is a highly fictional, highly exaggerated version of witches and wizards.  They have wands and broomsticks, for heavens sake.  This is a fantasy book about a fantasy world (albeit on planet earth) much like many other fantastical books. 

So, unless I find something along the way that is highly against our views, we will continue on this journey of Hogwarts.  I do not want to get caught up in believing so many things of the world are evil.  I once heard the teaching of a woman at my church who said we should not let our children watch VeggieTales because vegetables do not talk and it will confuse the children.  I remember the argument against watching Happy Feet because it was supposed to have a gay agenda even though the main character was a tap dancing penguin who was male and was totally in love with a female penguin....just because he tap danced did not mean he was gay.

And just because Harry is a wizard who flies on a broomstick and has a wand does not mean this book of pure fiction and fantasy is bad.  It is actually quite enjoyable story telling.

Let me clarify the title.  By reluctant reader, I mean someone who is not inclined to read...not someone who cannot read.  By this I mean, my son is an advanced reader.  He reads well above his grade level...I am not sure to what level.  However, he does not really like to read.  Oh, he reads in the car and when I assign him a book to read, but it is not his choice to read.  He'd rather build with legos or....well....that's about it.  He occasionally plays a video game.  I believe he is likely gifted.

This is how I think his brain works.  He is very analytical.  He can pick out even the most obscure patterns and he excels at math.  His brain is constantly working and putting things together.  Because of this, he is very good at grammar because it is all about breaking down a sentence and putting it in it's parts.  He's great at writing poetry because he can make patterns with words.  He is great at reading because he can figure out how words are formed and what they mean in context.  

So, I am constantly trying to find that book that will hook him...will make him want to sit and read.  I know some people are just not readers, but I also recognize the value of reading.

So, I would like some suggestions and advice on this subject.  I am looking for suggestions on books to read to capture him (no magic treehouse...been there, done that....and nothing too young...he's 7, but his level of reading is much higher) and advice on the subject of one book series that seems to grab the most reluctant of readers...Harry Potter.

Ok, so here's the deal with Harry Potter and our family...we have spent years avoiding the topic.  I have pretty strong objections to the subject matter of the book...and would like to know your opinions whether they agree with me or not.  I want to make an informed decision to whether to get the books for my son.  So, here are my thoughts on Harry Potter and please feel free to comment below on your opinions:

• The first "elephant in the room" thing for me, personally, is the most obvious thing.  The witchcraft and sorcery.  I rather not go there with my family.  Ok...I know it is fiction.  Kids cannot go flying on broomsticks.  I am concerned of what this may open with my kids, though.  I do not want them getting an interest in this subject.  I know after the books first became popular, kids began dressing as wizards and finding more and more about majic and I know God says very plainly in the bible that we are not to tinker with such things.  Am I too sensitive to that??
• I have heard recently that Rowling is very anti-christian.  I'm not sure I can support that??  Does she put any of her agenda in her writing, even subtly?
• I know there is the clear line of good versus evil and I am not against this scenario.  AND, I struggle with my love of Lord of the Rings which is also good versus evil, with one of the lead good guys as a sorcerer.  I know Tolkein's intent, though, was a Christian parallel.  I doubt Rowling's was.  But, should that exclude the book from the list?  Daniel reads book without a Christian intent all the time.

I am serious about wanting input on book suggestions as well as Harry Potter advice both pro and con.  I encourage you to comment on here versus my facebook page so others can read your wise words and can get a better idea on the subject.     

Yesterday, I posted a blog on how my kids eat regular food and not "kid" food.  In that post, I explained about how my daughter used to be a picky eater who only ate PB&J and chicken nuggets.  Let me explain a bit further.

I said that she one day asked for salad and that was the beginning of change in her life...but let me clarify that by stating....it was ONLY the beginning.  While I had released the battle of food for her when she was younger, this step forward she made with the salad began a NEW battle, but being 5 or 6 years old, it became an easier battle.  Try to reason with a 3 year old about food and you might as well reason with a wall on why it should move to a different spot.  Try to reason with a 6 year old, and you at least have a little movement.  This battle would last for a couple years.

Here is what we did.  We seized the opportunity of having her more open to new things (and by open, I mean a CRACK of a HEAVY door).

This is what I would advice.  Do not overwhelm your picky eater with a plate full of food he/she does not like.  This is the quickest way to get them to shut down!!  My daughter is as hard headed as they come.  If I saw her eat salad one day and than put in front of her a plate with meatloaf, mashed potatoes and green beans the next day, she would likely withdraw into her old ways out of fear and hardheadedness   The salad does not mean her issues are over...it just means there is hope.

Ranch dressing is a good example.  I am not pro-ranch, but I know that traditionally ranch is loved by kids.  I put ranch on her salad and kept doing it for a while until I put a different, lighter, healthier dressing on for her "to try" and she loved it more so than the heavy, creamy ranch.

So, what we would do is we would put something on her plate she likes a lot...say she started to like grilled chicken.  Ok...so she gets a juicy grilled chicken breast and than a small pile of green beans.  Oh, the joys of watching your kid try the green beans and gag!!  She had such an issue with texture and flavor, she would literally gag at every meal.  In this case, we would, first and foremost, not bring any attention to the gagging.  I feel strongly that a small portion of the gagging was physical, but the better portion of the gagging was more show for us.  We chose to ignore it.

Also, I am not above bribery.  "If you will just eat 5 green beans, you can have dessert.....or 50 cents....or soda!"  I know many parents will tsk tsk at this, but look...what needs to happen needs to happen.  Do I bribe her now to eat?  No!!  I don't need to.  Once she got past the textures, and the gagging, the need to bribe ceased.  The reward came in the eating of fresh, yummy foods.

If your kid makes it through his/her meal having at least eaten a portion of whatever food he/she finds offensive, maybe make the next meal be a meal that they love.

Also, allow your kids to discover what foods they genuinely do not like.  Give them time and space.  Sierra used to HATE anything to do with potatoes (unless they were in french fry form).  We make the yummiest mashed potatoes and it would drive me crazy that she would not like them....they are real potatoes, boiled, mashed, mixed with butter, sour cream, cheese, and plenty of seasoning.  YUM!!  Nope, no good for her.  However, one day she asked to try them (she would see us enjoying them so).  She was tentative about it, but ended up saying "pretty good".  Now?  She LOVES mashed potatoes.

I do believe kids should try new things.  But, I also believe that they need space to try it.  Food can terrify a kid.  If you put a mountain of something new on their plate and force them to eat it, their preconceived, hardheaded ways will no doubt keep them from allowing themselves to enjoy it.  Sierra still asks me, "what's in this?".  I will say "nothing is in it you do not like".  She trusts me.  I have been known to sneak things in sometimes...but generally speaking, I do not.  I'm honest.

One thing my kids LOVE....like REALLY, REALLY love is my zucchini chips.  I can have their most favorite meal on the plate, and they will, no doubt, devour these before touching the other.

I take a foil lined pan and spray it with nonstick spray.  I clean and slice zucchini in about 1/4 inch slices.  I lay them in one layer on pan.  I spray them with spray margarine and than season lightly with a greek seasoning (but you could season lightly with garlic salt and pepper).  I top them with parmessan cheese, generously.  I then broil them for only a few minutes, until the cheese is slightly browned.  that's it.  They DEVOUR them.  Last time, I squeezed a bit of lemon on them before seasoning or cheese.  You do not want to overcook them...they are better if they are crispy and not mushy.

One thing that drives me crazy is parents who force their kids to eat food they don't like...or knowing their kid doesn't like something, not caring.  When I make a soup with beans in it...I will pick out the beans for Sierra.  Parents scoff at me for doing this simple act of love.  It takes all of 5 minutes at most to do this.  Why is this such a burden??  I once read a book by John Ortberg and he was talking about how when his kid would accidentally spill his drink on the table he would get so angry at the kid for this accident...yelling and wagging his finger.  One day he spilled his own drink and there was no one looming over him yelling at him or wagging their finger at him.  It spoke to him...why is he yelling at his kids for an accidental spill?  It is the same with our food.  As a child, I would get yelled at for not liking fish or liver or a couple of the other things I did not like.  It did not matter to my dad or stepmom that I had a definite dislike of these food items.  I could not help that they tasted horrible.  Look at your own taste palate.  There is something you do not like.  I bet you do not cook it because you do not like it.  So, why are your kids forced to eat food they do not like?  

Again, I am speaking on definite foods that they have a particular dislike of...Sierra and beans.  She has tried them in many forms and just does not like them.  I am not speaking of those kids who have yet to really give the food a try.  But, in order for them to try it, the pressure needs to be lifted and the portion needs to be lightened.  And, yes, sometimes a little bribe can go a long way.

All too often when I post a recipe on here or facebook, I get asked the question...sounds great but what are your kids going to eat.  I LOVE that question.  My reply is always the same...why what we had of course!

But, let me digress.  I am not one of those parents that force my kids to eat something against their will and I never understand parents who do.  As a child, I was forced to eat the most atrocious things even though I had a genuine dislike of them.  I have all too horrid of memories of getting off the school bus that let me off at the end of my very long driveway (we lived in the country on five acres) and being able to smell that odorous smell of cooking liver and onions.  My steps would slow...my head would hang...and my stomach would turn.  There was no refusing dinner at my table and there is nothing worse tasting than liver and onions.  It is not like I was picky.  There were any number of things I really liked and, as I would discover later, a whole world of food that was full of incredible flavors that I would not get the opportunity to taste until I moved out.

I made the decision when I was younger to allow my children to develop their own tastes.  Why is it ok for us, as adults, to have our particular likes and dislikes but not our children.  What we cook, they must eat!  I still, to this day, hate fish.  I HATE IT!  I have tried it every which way and many different kinds of fish and I just hate it.  Should I be forced to eat it??

OK, so the next response would be...but you don't know what it's like to have kids who will not eat anything.  My first response is...OH YEAH I DO!!  My daughter refused to eat anything but peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and chicken nuggets for YEARS!!  YEARS I am telling you.  I recognized something in reflection of that time.  Her dislike of foods could be tracked to when she was just a baby.  Being my first baby, and me not having a mother or any friends who have gone through baby rearing yet, I just had to wing it.  I decided to go on the Gerber plan...I started her on cereal (you know that rice cereal stuff) and than the jarred baby food, step 1...then step 2....then step 3...and than she became a Gerber Graduate...literally...I bought her the Gerber Graduates food.  By the time I got around to trying to get her to eat "real" food, she was already a 1 1/2 year old and she became sensitive to textures and anything with any real flavor.  Her introduction to "real" food became a daily battle.  I tried so hard to get her to eat.

Another mistake I made was I labeled her and put the expectation of being a picky eater on her.  I am now very much against putting expectations or labels on my kids (but that is another post).  After fighting for so long, I finally had to let it go.  I got her to eat peanut butter sandwiches....eventually she would eat chicken nuggets....and then cheeseburgers (from McDonalds only).  I would cry at Thanksgiving when I would make a meal for....well....Matt and I and she would have PB&J.  

After a while of me stopping trying to force the issue, she began to come around.  It started with a salad.  She very sweetly approached me in the kitchen and said, I think I would like to try a salad.  She was 5 1/2.  I stopped everything I was doing and made her up a salad.  She sat at the table and I watched (while trying to look like I was not watching) as she took her fork and examined the lettuce.  She tentatively put it in her mouth and her eyes widened.  SCORE!!  She loved it.  This opened the door for her trying many more things and finding out what she really liked and really didn't.

So, I released the battle over the food.  I think that often times it is more a battle of wills versus the battle of food itself.  However, in the course of expanding her palate, I had to look good and hard at what I was fixing her (and us) to eat.  Maybe, just maybe, it's not the food you prepare but how you cook it.  I got so offended once when someone asked me (when i was complaining about her) are you making it taste good.  WHAT!?!!!  How could they ask ME that??

Over the years, though, I have learned things.  I have experimented with different cooking styles (best way to cook chicken...best way to cook veggies).  I have experimented with different flavors, brands, blends, etc.  As I have worked with expanding her palate...I have, in a sense, learned to cook.  There is rarely a meal that she will turn her nose up, now, and say "no thank you".  Even the sub-par meals are good for her.  Here's the trick...she does not like "kid" food.  She'd rather starve than eat Chef Boyardee...or Tyson chicken nuggets....or hot dogs...etc.  Give her a greek salad loaded with feta, artichokes, roasted red pepper, hummus, spinach, etc and she is ALL OVER IT!!  She USED to be picky....now she gets labeled as picky because she goes to friend's houses where "kid" food is always on the menu and she won't eat...and vice versa when her friends come here and see what we are eating.  Parents have dumbed down food for their kids.

I would say...give them a chance to eat the more flavorful foods and really examine how it is you prepare such foods.  My kids used to hate zucchini until I figured out that I was cooking it a tad too long!  Now, when I even utter that I am making something with zucchini in it, they become like Pavlov's dogs...drooling all over the floor!!  And allow them to have foods that they simply do not like.  Sierra does not like rice, eggs, bacon and beans...I am not fond of rice so that one is easy...eggs are a breakfast thing, so that is easy....bacon can be difficult, but I try to add it to a meal AFTER I have gotten her portion out...and beans, I will pick them out for her.

And so you ask...what about Daniel.  I learned my lesson after Sierra.  He was on baby food for a matter of weeks...I'm talking 2 or 3 weeks.  I had a pediatrician that encouraged me to feed him table food and that is what I did.  At lunch I would prepare myself a salad and he would crawl over and pick the black beans and diced tomatoes off my salad and gum them.  By his first birthday, he was eating just about anything we would eat.  By 3 or 4, instead of the customary chicken nuggets or cheeseburgers at restaurants, he would opt for a side salad.  I put no pressure on him nor did I label him ("if he's a toddler, he will be picky").  His list of food he doesn't like is limited to one...he does not like green beans.  Ok.  I can live with that.  

They are always interested in what we are having for dinner.  Today I said...I am making something that I came up with in my head...it involves chicken, orzo, parmesan cheese and zucchini.  They both said "that sounds wonderful" and Daniel piped in, "some of the best things you cook come from your head".  lol

I would say, don't assume that your kids will not like veggies...let them explore which ones they like and don't like and really examine how it is you cook them.  Also, don't assume that everything needs to be covered in ranch.  Sierra's salads started with ranch, but I evolved her to a lighter olive oil and vinegar based dressing and she can appreciate the taste of the veggies more.  Don't assume all food needs to be bland.  Don't fall into the "kid food trap".  Oh, if your kids like hot dogs, than serve hot dogs....but introduce them, slowly at first, to the other world of food.  Sierra and I went to a restaurant once on a date and ordered pasta with goat cheese and some grilled asparagus.  She was 11 years old.  She and I both just melted as we ate bite after bite of the wonderful meal and still talk about it to this day.  This was her first time eating asparagus and both of our first time with goat cheese.  Without forcing them or battling them, let them slowly expand their palate and it is an almost guarantee they will not turn back.  My kids HATE hot dogs....which has it's own set of problems!!

We have recently been discussing the menu for Thanksgiving.  Last year, we decided to buck tradition and to put a bunch of nationalities in a hat to pick what to have on the next several Thanksgivings.  No more turkey!!  So, this Thanksgiving we are having Greek food.  As we discussed what we would have, my kids started drooling as we talking of gyros with lamb, taziki sauce and feta, greek salad, raw veggies and hummus, etc.  Next year is Mexican!!