I have been homeschooling now for close to two years. I am, by no means, an expert. These past couple years, though, I have made many observations and many of them make me sad.
One of the key arguments homeschoolers will hear against the idea of homeschooling is the lack of socialization the kids will get when they are out of a classroom environment. I have read SO many articles that argue that the only way for kids can really learn to socialize in the world is to be in the classroom with other kids their own age. I have read just as many articles debunking this theory.
A sad reality that has become abundantly clear to me is that, while I do agree that socialization in the classroom setting is not the best way to go...or even a good way to go, I also believe that we, as homeschool families, are doing exactly what we got away from schools for in the realm of socialization.
Socializing my son has not been an issue. He is, first of all, a boy. It's just easier for them. Secondly, he is still young. He has not reached those awkward years. You can drop him in the middle of a group of kids (strangers) and within minutes, he will have already made a best friend.
My daughter, however, has been a tougher case. I will take her to events involving kids her age that are homeschooled and I will inevitably get a call or text "come get me". The kids who come to these events are just not "like her". She does not fit the picture of a "homeschool teen", a fact that I thought would be a non-issue. I mean, we are all Christians, right. But, over time, I noticed a definite divide. The only kids participating in these events are different (not in a bad way...just different).
The thing is, I know that there are teens/kids out there that are homeschooled and more "like" Sierra, but I wonder...where are they? Where are the ones that fit into Sierra's kind of different? It has bugged me for a long time. I don't get it.
The sad truth is, as I am finding out over time, is there are so many homeschool families out there that feel shunned by the homeschool groups because they do not fit in their ideal of what a homeschool family should look like. Maybe their daughter's have one too many piercings in her ear or maybe she wears *gasp* tank tops. Maybe the son likes to wear his hair in a mohawk. Whatever the case, I have spoken to several families who have given up participating in any kind of group setting because they feel judged.
I can tell you that my daughter gets judged herself. She is 13 years old and is very pretty. She has confidence in herself. She wears makeup and spends time styling her hair. She is fairly shy which gets taken for snobbery. She gets prejudged from not being "one of the crowd". How can this be?? Are we not a Christian society?? Shouldn't we welcome everyone??
The other day, I went to church and sitting in the lobby was a group of people that look like they were a part of a biker gang. The men had long hair and beards...bandanas around their heads...the men and women alike were dressed head to toe in black leather. My first couple seconds reaction was "what in the" and I stopped and smiled...it was a beautiful site. Good for them for coming and feeling confident in coming in their own skin and not putting on a front to impress others.
But, here we are as a Christian Homeschool Organization turning our noses up at kids because they do not look like a homeschooler should look like. We put on airs about how accepting our children are, but I do not believe this to be so. I know there are more of us out there and I just hope they can find a place to belong. Sierra found a place at church. She is blossoming there and does not feel unsocialized, but before she started getting involved in church, she definitely felt the sting of rejection. Lucky for her, she has a best friend who also feels the sting of rejection, so they have each other to socialize with.
There is a missed opportunity, though, for these groups to really grow in numbers and grow spiritually. Get to know those kids and parents that may not look like you...you might find that they (we) have more in common with you than you think.
One of the key arguments homeschoolers will hear against the idea of homeschooling is the lack of socialization the kids will get when they are out of a classroom environment. I have read SO many articles that argue that the only way for kids can really learn to socialize in the world is to be in the classroom with other kids their own age. I have read just as many articles debunking this theory.
A sad reality that has become abundantly clear to me is that, while I do agree that socialization in the classroom setting is not the best way to go...or even a good way to go, I also believe that we, as homeschool families, are doing exactly what we got away from schools for in the realm of socialization.
Socializing my son has not been an issue. He is, first of all, a boy. It's just easier for them. Secondly, he is still young. He has not reached those awkward years. You can drop him in the middle of a group of kids (strangers) and within minutes, he will have already made a best friend.
My daughter, however, has been a tougher case. I will take her to events involving kids her age that are homeschooled and I will inevitably get a call or text "come get me". The kids who come to these events are just not "like her". She does not fit the picture of a "homeschool teen", a fact that I thought would be a non-issue. I mean, we are all Christians, right. But, over time, I noticed a definite divide. The only kids participating in these events are different (not in a bad way...just different).
The thing is, I know that there are teens/kids out there that are homeschooled and more "like" Sierra, but I wonder...where are they? Where are the ones that fit into Sierra's kind of different? It has bugged me for a long time. I don't get it.
The sad truth is, as I am finding out over time, is there are so many homeschool families out there that feel shunned by the homeschool groups because they do not fit in their ideal of what a homeschool family should look like. Maybe their daughter's have one too many piercings in her ear or maybe she wears *gasp* tank tops. Maybe the son likes to wear his hair in a mohawk. Whatever the case, I have spoken to several families who have given up participating in any kind of group setting because they feel judged.
I can tell you that my daughter gets judged herself. She is 13 years old and is very pretty. She has confidence in herself. She wears makeup and spends time styling her hair. She is fairly shy which gets taken for snobbery. She gets prejudged from not being "one of the crowd". How can this be?? Are we not a Christian society?? Shouldn't we welcome everyone??
The other day, I went to church and sitting in the lobby was a group of people that look like they were a part of a biker gang. The men had long hair and beards...bandanas around their heads...the men and women alike were dressed head to toe in black leather. My first couple seconds reaction was "what in the" and I stopped and smiled...it was a beautiful site. Good for them for coming and feeling confident in coming in their own skin and not putting on a front to impress others.
But, here we are as a Christian Homeschool Organization turning our noses up at kids because they do not look like a homeschooler should look like. We put on airs about how accepting our children are, but I do not believe this to be so. I know there are more of us out there and I just hope they can find a place to belong. Sierra found a place at church. She is blossoming there and does not feel unsocialized, but before she started getting involved in church, she definitely felt the sting of rejection. Lucky for her, she has a best friend who also feels the sting of rejection, so they have each other to socialize with.
There is a missed opportunity, though, for these groups to really grow in numbers and grow spiritually. Get to know those kids and parents that may not look like you...you might find that they (we) have more in common with you than you think.
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