So...you wake up with expectations and than those expectations explode either in one big blowout or in a series of little bombs that end with you being defeated and declaring that this was a bad day. So what do you do?? Do you go to bed early, willing that the next day would be better?? Do you wallow in self-pity, crying into a glass of wine (or something stronger)? Do you get bitter and take your frustrations out on anyone that comes within 50 feet of you??
Today, we had a bad day. Oh, it started well enough, but it didn't take long for things to start to explode. First, there was a pretty medium to hefty size bombshell that had me in instant defeatist mode. My day was ruined, my eyes filling with tears. My husband, ever the optimist, felt that the bombshell may have been a more of a dud than a real explosion and felt that the day was not as bad as it seemed. Well, it was. We were bombarded throughout the day with small bombs, tiny bombs and one really large bomb. I found myself walking through Walmart with tears in my eyes and asking God why. It did occur to me that a bomb to me was a mere water balloon to most everyone else, but I was in full pity party mode declaring that the day had defeated me...the day had won....and I drooped my shoulders down to the floor. I stood in Walmart ranting on and on about how unfair life could be and the eventual drive home had me ranting on about so many ways life sucks right now including our dark house on a street filled with so many beautiful lights. Tears were a constant companion throughout the day and as soon as I walked in the door, I proclaimed to my kids about how much of a failure the day had been.
So...what to do? To keep my shoulders drooping under the weight of a tough world? To go hide in my room, crying and whining and shaking my fist at God? Those are all options...options that under normal circumstances, I would have done.
An interesting thing happened on my road to self desolation...I mentioned a topic. I spoke it out into the room where we were all gathered. It was a simple topic, but one that elicited great emotion and had everyone speaking and the excitement level growing and growing. I mentioned my son's upcoming birthday party. You see, we had a plan for his party, but I started to, as the day grows closer and closer, see the flaws in the plan...so I came up with a new plan. I tossed this out into the space of the living room, and the plans began. Ideas began to be tossed around. A new plan was formed and everyone was happy...cheerful...connected.
This spilled into one of the best nights ever. We spent the evening in the glow of the Christmas tree, eating a simple dinner of rottesseirrie chicken, green beans and rolls followed by cookie brownies and watching two GREAT Christmas movies: "The Best Christmas Pageant Ever" and "Rudolph". Gone were the thoughts of a failed day. Gone was the self pity. The shoulders had found their way back to where they belong. We laughed. I cried (the movie gets me every time...and no, not Rudolph). We sang along to Rudolph. We had a great time as a family. The problems of the day are still there, but the feelings of despair have melted away.
You hear so often people say "I choose joy" and I often roll my eyes. But, tonight that is what Matt and I did. We chose joy and God honored that. As we waited for Daniel to finish his shower so we could put him to bed, Matt said..."that was a great night." And it was.
Today, we had a bad day. Oh, it started well enough, but it didn't take long for things to start to explode. First, there was a pretty medium to hefty size bombshell that had me in instant defeatist mode. My day was ruined, my eyes filling with tears. My husband, ever the optimist, felt that the bombshell may have been a more of a dud than a real explosion and felt that the day was not as bad as it seemed. Well, it was. We were bombarded throughout the day with small bombs, tiny bombs and one really large bomb. I found myself walking through Walmart with tears in my eyes and asking God why. It did occur to me that a bomb to me was a mere water balloon to most everyone else, but I was in full pity party mode declaring that the day had defeated me...the day had won....and I drooped my shoulders down to the floor. I stood in Walmart ranting on and on about how unfair life could be and the eventual drive home had me ranting on about so many ways life sucks right now including our dark house on a street filled with so many beautiful lights. Tears were a constant companion throughout the day and as soon as I walked in the door, I proclaimed to my kids about how much of a failure the day had been.
So...what to do? To keep my shoulders drooping under the weight of a tough world? To go hide in my room, crying and whining and shaking my fist at God? Those are all options...options that under normal circumstances, I would have done.
An interesting thing happened on my road to self desolation...I mentioned a topic. I spoke it out into the room where we were all gathered. It was a simple topic, but one that elicited great emotion and had everyone speaking and the excitement level growing and growing. I mentioned my son's upcoming birthday party. You see, we had a plan for his party, but I started to, as the day grows closer and closer, see the flaws in the plan...so I came up with a new plan. I tossed this out into the space of the living room, and the plans began. Ideas began to be tossed around. A new plan was formed and everyone was happy...cheerful...connected.
This spilled into one of the best nights ever. We spent the evening in the glow of the Christmas tree, eating a simple dinner of rottesseirrie chicken, green beans and rolls followed by cookie brownies and watching two GREAT Christmas movies: "The Best Christmas Pageant Ever" and "Rudolph". Gone were the thoughts of a failed day. Gone was the self pity. The shoulders had found their way back to where they belong. We laughed. I cried (the movie gets me every time...and no, not Rudolph). We sang along to Rudolph. We had a great time as a family. The problems of the day are still there, but the feelings of despair have melted away.
You hear so often people say "I choose joy" and I often roll my eyes. But, tonight that is what Matt and I did. We chose joy and God honored that. As we waited for Daniel to finish his shower so we could put him to bed, Matt said..."that was a great night." And it was.
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